Why Don’t You Get a TV Already?
by: Schvach Yid


These challenging words were just delivered to me by my mom. Mothers! My mother owns me
every Sunday. In decades past, my paternal grandparents owned us every Sunday; I was in elementary and junior high schools back then. Now, I’m a grown mensch, and not much has changed.

Back to the TV.

I dumped my TV set into the garbage this past May 1st – May Day. No, I’m not one of those pinko Commies of old; it was simply coincidence. I haven’t gone through a manumission as a result; just a little enhancement of shalom babayit, and this despite the fact that my old (and now deceased) grad school advisor was investigated by the Joe McCarthy Red witch-hunt people back in the 1950’s, and who, as a result, lost his academic position at the University of Vermont (link).

I first cancelled my cable TV subscription in March. I didn’t miss the garbage for a second, and then one fine evening, when I was feeling an enhanced surge of perkiness (despite my shriveled adrenal cortices), I schlepped the thing out of my bayit, down the driveway, and onto the curb for trash collection.

A mechaiya! The incessant dribble and junk – fifty-two bucks and change a month worth – were out of my life. I have yet to miss the thing.

So why don’t I get a TV already? Because life without it is better, that’s why. Because if The Huntley-Brinkley Report was still aired by NBC, I’d probably buy one, but regrettably, CNN has chosen to emulate its emulators, and Huntley and Brinkley have both disappeared from the planet, so all that remains to be watched is programmed crap.

Besides, Jblogs are so much better.